Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
are you so shy because you have an std?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
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