So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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