You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
