that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Randomize
