Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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