Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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