so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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