im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
