I looked at my own cervix.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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