do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
