How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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