And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
it's like iHOP with fire
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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