Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
