Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
