Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Never joke about your clitoris.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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