bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
