No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
