Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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