Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
