Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
