As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm really busy with my period
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