so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
