She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
