I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
