I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
