Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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