careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
