The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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