Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
