Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
