There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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