Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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