You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
