You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
