i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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