distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
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