Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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