I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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