Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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