it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Panties = found
Randomize
