Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
