i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
