I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
