the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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