I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
