My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
