She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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