At least make sure they are 18
Why
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Is Oprah even human
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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