Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
