i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
