we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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