you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
